Saturday, August 30, 2008

i❤hvayn™ - Back Home =D

hehe..both of us are back home since....two days ago...but i hardly found anytime to post on our blog, as i was busy studying..haha...weird for me and my family, because i dun usually study at home..haha...hmm..everything's well for the both of us...talked everything, every problem out..solved..^^...now, just want him to concentrate on his revisions for the upcoming trial n then, his spm...good luck byby...i love u..muackz!!support u oways ^_______^..erm...he....initiated a breakup with me on monday night...i was like 'ohmygodthisisntreallyhappenningpleasehelpme'..i was really speechless when he said that...really really speechless...i just didnt expect it to be so fast...he promised not to leave me..he promised he wont be the one to leave me..he promised he would love me forever...but he actually said That...wow..the first thing on my mind was 'he's the same'..but i didnt really want to let him go...because i really loved him...so i called him back and told him that i needed him...after that, things went O.K, but i was a little hesitant whenever he contacts me..and obviously, he felt the change in me..but what he thought he felt was not the truth...my feelings for him still remained the same...i was just lacking the trust in him..time and again he hurted me by saying those words...and this time was the two words i really wanted to be the last at my 'the-things-that-i-hate-most' list..''''Break-Up''''..hmm...but after that when i told him my problem he seemed to understand although to me he doesnt want to accept it...but he convinced me that those were not his heartfelt words...im still trying to trust him...i really want to..i hope this wont sour our relationship though..hmm..last night we talked about 'what if he goes oversea'...i dont really feel the 'what if' is actually 'what if' because he really has the potential and high chances to get scholarships..he scored almost perfect A1's last Sbp trial...yeah, thats my baby :)...10a1's and 1a2..his a2 was just left with merely A MARK to a1..haha..i pity him though...the a2 is sure being a big wet blanket...haha....back to the story..ahem..so, i still stick to my decision to wait...i will not promise him, but i will try my best...that's what i told him...in his eyes, maybe im still that girl who cant live without guys..well, nvm then...but i still told him that the reason that would make me fail is not because of me falling for other guys, but it will be because i feel he's not there anymore..i dont know whether he trusts me, but he sounded like he did...and he said he would contact me everyday...and i asked, then how will it be when im in school?...haha...so we decided on calls occasionally (but depending his finance on that time, we are not born with a silver spoon), emails, and also webcam when im at home..he promised that i will feel he's always with me..i want it to...i really want it..i hope that all these obstacles can strenghten our relationship....hmm...my family members know about our relationship too...they objected of course, without a doubt...but sarhan and i really wants to prove that our choices are not wrong...this will be it...we both have to be very determined, im sure of that...go go hvayn!!!!! =D...i just wont let him go...he's my everything...i love him more than i love myself, and its really true...thanks for being my angel^____________^..i love you sarhan and i always will, muackz!!!!!!!


ViviaN
i❤hvayn™

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